I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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