apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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