i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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