I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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