I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
