it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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