I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Please don't give away my fajitas
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize