I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
