K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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