so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
