We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
