I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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