kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
