5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
