peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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