i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
how does that bad decision feel?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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