Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
