he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
