Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
