id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
