my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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