do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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