I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
