Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
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