guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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