Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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