"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
