He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
