You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
time to smoke my breakfast
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize