I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Every concussion has its silver lining
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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