so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
