So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
