Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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