She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
