y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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