hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
