i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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