Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
