I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
