i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
