you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A+ Viking dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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