She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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