Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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