it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
