ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
