I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize