And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
