just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
