can u get pink eye on your cock?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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