I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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