just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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