Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
