well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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