He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
