there's paper in my vomit.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
