it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
