ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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