Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize