I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
