I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
