just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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